Background - Part 3

Coming Home - taken from my journal

Our last day in hospital was much quieter, only TM, Miss E and I
TM slept a lot and Miss E slept on me a lot.  We left the hospital about 4:30pm
We collected the boys from TM's house where my sister-in-law had been looking after them and drove to our home.

As I was driving TM and Miss E home from the hospital we were talking - TM was talking about actions and consequences...
I asked her "You're not giving Miss E away to punish yourself, are you?"
And she replied "I've thought about that, and no I'm not"

We arrived home and so did our family!
My sister & sister-in-law, and my husbands cousin.
Gift were brought for Miss E, TM and me. I loved that TM was celebrated too - that TM and the boys were being welcomed into the family - beautiful!
Dinner and champagne arrived with family - such a blessing

Miss E's first night at home; TM and her boys stayed too, Miss E slept in her bassinet in our room and when she woke for a feed I got up and took her to TM to breast-feed, changed her and then took her back to our room.

The following day, while Miss E was sleeping, I sat in her room reading.  TM came in and sat on the floor.  She didn't say anything for a few minutes, then looked up at me and said "Would you be offended if I said I don't want to breast feed any more?"
I replied "Of course not!"
TM went on "It's just that breast feeding is punishing myself."  My heart ached to hear those words! It ached for TM.

So when Miss E woke at lunch we gave her, her first bottle, she took it beautifully.
After she'd been fed, I sat on the couch with TM and asked her "In a perfect world, what could we do to help you keep Miss E?"
My heart was pounding waiting for her reply, she said "It's not a perfect world, there's nothing you can do."
I was almost in tears "I'm sorry, I had to ask or I couldn't accept Miss E" stumbling over my words, not even the right words to explain what I meant.
And I could not have, had she answered any other way, because I know she loves Miss E, and that is why she choose to let us raise and love her.  TM is a good mum and a strong woman.

I read about adoption; in one of the Asian countries, the primary reason for adopting a child out was being a single mum, the culture did not accept or support unwed mothers.  This made me want to sponsor the mum's to be able to keep their children, not adopt one! 

What I felt was if we could help TM to keep Miss E then we needed to use everything within our resources to do whatever needed to be done, otherwise we were accepting a gift that was not ours.  Even those words don't accurately describe my hearts cry...

...after one night at our home TM and the boys were ready to go home, Miss E was released into our care, what an amazing adventure we were embarking on, so much beauty, so many magic moments and a beautiful extended, adopted family to share it all with, who never tire of hearing us brag on Miss E, who delight in every new development as much as we do!  What a gift!  Truly!
And Miss E, what a blessed child to have 2 mum's loving her, a besotted dad and 3 doting big brothers!

TM and the brothers maintain regular contact (weekly - fortnightly) that's more than our blood family do!  A lot more!  So, I feel I am also blessed with a sister, friend and co-love-giver for Miss E and Master J (his story yet to be shared!)